I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
