I just threw up on my dentist
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
