No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
