Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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