I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
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We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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