just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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