every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize