If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Dry spell is over and now Iβm drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
Itβs a glorious dick miracle!
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