So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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