I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
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