I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
