I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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