it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
There are leaves in my underwear?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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