i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
