Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
BRING THE BAGELS
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
