If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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