I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
