the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I need to stop coming to work sober
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
