Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
A bitchslap is in order.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
