On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
i now understand why vodka
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
