i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You don't make any sense
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