careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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