big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
