honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she told me i tasted like america
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
