i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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