Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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