Sry I called you an 8
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
