you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
