I cockslap morals
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize