I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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