The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
