he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
is wine microwaveable?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
