STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
