Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
