I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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