I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
