Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
