There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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