my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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