Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
