Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
