I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.