Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high. http://tfl.nu/02yt
  Replies (19) Good night (3707) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar.... http://tfl.nu/1ee9
  Replies (15) Good night (1178) Bad night (5174)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive http://tfl.nu/jlaw
  Replies (13) Good night (1996) Bad night (3820)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex? http://tfl.nu/cm27
  Replies (14) Good night (908) Bad night (4002)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot. http://tfl.nu/xkom
  Replies (4) Good night (2714) Bad night (1395)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick. http://tfl.nu/e6nk
  Replies (29) Good night (1239) Bad night (6032)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat. http://tfl.nu/7ors
  Replies (13) Good night (4260) Bad night (1210)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life. http://tfl.nu/7e69
  Replies (7) Good night (743) Bad night (2202)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour. http://tfl.nu/4726
  Replies (2) Good night (1429) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly. http://tfl.nu/khhz
  Replies (11) Good night (2231) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer? http://tfl.nu/h12n
  Replies (20) Good night (644) Bad night (811)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen. http://tfl.nu/0ir7
  Replies (3) Good night (675) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman. http://tfl.nu/t3af
  Replies (2) Good night (979) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??" http://tfl.nu/7nog
  Replies (6) Good night (948) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable http://tfl.nu/rcay
  Replies (6) Good night (1237) Bad night (334)

Randomize