Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone

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  (732): Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone http://tfl.nu/vmc1
  Replies (8) Good night (2123) Bad night (1472)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them

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  (617): were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them http://tfl.nu/uwjn
  Replies (56) Good night (5068) Bad night (794)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.

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  (508): You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life. http://tfl.nu/6ito
  Replies (10) Good night (1071) Bad night (2690)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  should I fuck that poor girl

  (1-770): View more from Georgia

  no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion

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  (770): should I fuck that poor girl (1-770): no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion http://tfl.nu/i8cj
  Replies (30) Good night (914) Bad night (4947)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.

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  (408): I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level. http://tfl.nu/k6hr
  Replies (8) Good night (3516) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from England

  What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?

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  (+44): What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight? http://tfl.nu/q5oy
  Replies (15) Good night (1046) Bad night (3920)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged

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  (765): You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged http://tfl.nu/je5z
  Replies (8) Good night (1114) Bad night (3630)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.

  (1-812): View more from Indiana

  thatta girl

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  (812): she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga. (1-812): thatta girl http://tfl.nu/kona
  Replies (28) Good night (5204) Bad night (1306)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.

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  (701): For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza. http://tfl.nu/ui1g
  Replies (15) Good night (5176) Bad night (1338)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.

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  (202): Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again. http://tfl.nu/k4e9
  Replies (89) Good night (1547) Bad night (10299)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.

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  (416): He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex. http://tfl.nu/exbo
  Replies (24) Good night (4344) Bad night (1151)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.

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  (586): My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas. http://tfl.nu/bset
  Replies (8) Good night (874) Bad night (2637)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there

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  (402): You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there http://tfl.nu/v9qy
  Replies (2) Good night (1624) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...

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  (317): I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras... http://tfl.nu/ubf3
  Replies (5) Good night (871) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!

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  (904): Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday! http://tfl.nu/ki05
  Replies (2) Good night (535) Bad night (328)

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