Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
