Texts From Last Night

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  (727): View more from Florida

  if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  Lol welcome to greek life

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  (727): if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now. (1-727): Lol welcome to greek life http://tfl.nu/i7uo
  Replies (43) Good night (945) Bad night (4242)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.

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  (302): I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset. http://tfl.nu/ifc8
  Replies (13) Good night (4947) Bad night (900)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?

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  (614): I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip? http://tfl.nu/ff9b
  Replies (21) Good night (7161) Bad night (839)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.

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  (727): I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible. http://tfl.nu/n38l
  Replies (30) Good night (759) Bad night (6535)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.

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  (303): Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free. http://tfl.nu/j1zd
  Replies (20) Good night (8560) Bad night (1349)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer

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  (802): i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer http://tfl.nu/uupu
  Replies (16) Good night (5581) Bad night (1048)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.

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  (215): If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from. http://tfl.nu/hl9i
  Replies (6) Good night (3535) Bad night (792)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.

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  (786): You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager. http://tfl.nu/4g1t
  Replies (3) Good night (2905) Bad night (1145)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.

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  (601): You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin. http://tfl.nu/p6zj
  Replies (7) Good night (1546) Bad night (1771)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom

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  (605): the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom http://tfl.nu/jd2y
  Replies (6) Good night (714) Bad night (2205)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"

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  (580): Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying" http://tfl.nu/0sq3
  Replies (4) Good night (3909) Bad night (722)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.

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  (250): At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here. http://tfl.nu/zp01
  Replies (7) Good night (858) Bad night (2316)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.

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  (902): I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at. http://tfl.nu/m09a
  Replies (3) Good night (632) Bad night (382)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?

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  (413): Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later? http://tfl.nu/klxq
  Replies (6) Good night (891) Bad night (250)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!

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  (616): MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!! http://tfl.nu/8cgu
  Replies (11) Good night (742) Bad night (885)

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