What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction