two words: eviction party
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
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It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
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I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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