If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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