he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize