You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
