At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
