This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
