The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
