whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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