True but thats because hes a fetus.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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