Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
