hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
