I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
