My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
