So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
